My Heart Will Go On
by elegance-is-not-required
Summary: Seth had everything. A beautiful wife, a gorgeous daughter, and a wonderful career. But devastating news rocks his stable world. "Cancer can and will destroy everything in its path."
1. Chapter 1

_Howdy! I decided to write this fanfic because well_

_I lust over Seth a lot. And I always have these ideas in my head. So I thought, why not?_

_My editor is the lovely inspieos, who I just met yesterday. Love her already!_

_Enjoy!_

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Honey, please stop worrying." Jaylnn said to Seth, resting a reassuring hand on his tense shoulders. He stayed in a trance, staring at the wall.

"How can you be so calm?" He whispered with a slight hitch to his voice.

"Because, if I'm not then this place would be a mess." She teased, before continuing on. "Plus, if you worry over everything, you'd have no happiness left." Jaylnn had been trying to cheer him up for the past hour after putting their daughter down for a nap. Seth had stayed locked up in his study, trying to clear his head.

He turned to look at his wife, who stood behind him. Her brown hair was put up into a soft , loose hanging bun. Her green eyes shined bright with love. Upon further analysis, her lack of sleep became present. Deep bags hung under her eyes. Her lips were chapped. She seemed to be falling apart.

He placed his hand over hers, squeezing it slightly.

"I'm scared." He muttered.

"I know. I am too." Jaylnn said, moving herself towards him, sitting on his lap, wrapping on arm around his neck. She stared into his worried eyes, gently caressing his cheek.

"Please don't worry." She said hoping to comfort him in some way. He placed a hand at the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. Their foreheads touched, her nose rubbed gently against his.

"I can't lose her."

"Shh, shh." Jaylnn said, silencing him as she closed her sleepy eyes.

"Don't think like that. Think about the now. That's all that matters." He didn't reply, holding her closer, as though he feared she would leave. No, not leave, disappear. He needed her now more than ever. Just a few years ago his mother had passed away from a losing battle to cancer. She told him not to worry; She'd be fine.

But she _wasn't_ fine. She left him heartbroken, scared, and torn apart.

And he was about to relive all of that. His daughter, only 2 years old, faced a terrible life threatening sickness. _Cancer._

Seth never expected this to happen. Not his beloved, Sophia. She was his. She wasn't going to die. She wasn't going to leave. She was going to stay right here, with him.

She has so much to look forward to. Her first day of school, her first crush, her first kiss; She would miss all of that.

"Seth?" Jaylnn whispered to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Hm?" He muttered, not knowing what to say.

"Nothing is set in stone. The doctor just wants to have her checked out, he would be a bad doctor if he didn't." Seth stayed silent, taking in his wife's words. He wanted to believe, and a part of him did. Yet he couldn't stop the images that flashed through his mind. Little Sophia in surgery, or her in chemo. It broke his heart. But the one image he could not stop, no matter how hard he tried or how much he drank, stayed permanently etched in his mind.

His little girl, his princess, his angel, being buried in a small coffin. That's what truly scared him.

Sophia's loud cries could be heard from the baby monitor that sat on Seth's desk. His eyes glanced towards it, the lights on the small device going off.

He rubbed his wife's back as she stood up from my his lap. She outstretched her hand towards him, as he gratefully accepted it. They intertwined their fingers as they made their way to Sophia's room.

Seth released her hand as he turned the corner, walking into his daughter's room. The walls were painted a light shade of pink. Flowers covered the corners of the walls, stuffed animals laid sprawled about. She had every toy a little girl could ever want. Sophia was spoiled by everyone in her father's life, from producers, writers, and even down to long distance friends.

She was a very loved little girl.

Sophia Perry Macfarlane stood in her crib, holding onto the side rails, jumping up and down. The moment she saw her father, her face lit up.

"Daddy!" She said, elongating the "e" sound.

"Hi my princess!" Seth said enthusiastically. His fear washed away, hearing his wife's words running through his head. He had to live for the now.

"Dada! Dada!" She chanted, outstretching her small arms to him.

He walked over to her crib, unlocking the bar and sliding it down. He leaned forward and picked her up, resting her against his chest.

She didn't weigh too much, being only 29 lbs. It alarmed both Seth and Jaylnn, which was one of the warning signs they had picked up on.

Jaylnn leaned against the doorway, watching the loving scene before her. A soft meow could be heard as Chester, the family cat, entered the room. He jumped onto the small dresser that stood next to Sophia's bed. The gray cat stood guard, watching the both of them.

"I'm hungry, daddy." Sophia whispered to Seth, while she stuck her small thumb in her mouth.

"Okay, let's go see what we can make you." He replied, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. She squirmed in his arms turning her head in the other direction, seeing her mother. Once again, the she smiled. Jaylnn smiled back at her giving her a little wave.

Sophia removed her thumb from her mouth, pushing herself away from Seth. "Daddy, put me down." She giggled.

Seth released his daughter, putting her gently on the ground as she was greeted by Chester. Sophia pushed her lips out leaning towards him, giving him a small kiss on his furry head. He meowed in response as she laughed and ran to her mother.

"You ready to have some lunch sweetie?" Jaylnn asked her as the both of them walked towards the kitchen, with Chester trailing behind them.

Seth followed Jaylnn and his daughter to the kitchen as his little girl ran around, chasing Chester. He caught up to Jaylnn wrapping his arm around her waist, giving her a small kiss.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear.

"I love you more." She replied, as Sophia's laugh echoed throughout the house. They both smiled, masking the worry that lurked beneath.

Things were about to change.

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**Okay, I mean no disrespect to Perry in any way in this story. She is meant to serve a very significant part in this story. So. Yeah. **

_**Reviews por favor! Feedback is super important!**_

******If you want, you can follow my blog and/or twitter: **jacksdickk/heygurlfrand


	2. Chapter 2

_So sorry for the delay. Shit happens. Dat's life though_

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**Seth's POV**

The steady tick of the clock slammed against me. The sound was all I could hear. My palms were sweaty as I continuously wiped them against my faded jeans.

Sophia and Jaylnn sat on the ground, playing with a few of the toys laid out on the floor. My wife tried to keep our daughter calm, hoping she wouldn't understand what was going on.

The three of us were currently in Sophia's pediatrician's office. They had called us a day after her CAT scan to discuss her results. I didn't know if this was a good sign or not. If it was bad, wouldn't the tech have caught it right away? Although, I already know that a tech cannot make a call like that nor can he or she tell the patient if they are in any danger.

I just needed answers now. I was losing it.

"Daddy! Play with us!" Sophia said, flashing me a smile. She sat on the ground, her legs spread out, as she fiddled with some wooden-wire-contraption found in almost every doctor's office. Little red, blue, green, and yellow balls flowed across the wire, landing in different spots.

Jaylnn gave me a soft smile, silently pleading for me to join.

I just couldn't.

"Sophia?" A man called out. I glanced over at him, my heart beginning to race as I realized what was about to come.

Jaylnn, with a smile present on her face, stood up as Sophia followed. She took her time standing up, almost losing her balance but she made it.

"Seth, you ready?" My wife whispered as she looked at me.

It's now or never.

"Of course!" I said, masking my pain. Sophia wobbled a little towards me and reached for my hand. Jaylnn took her other hand as the three of us walked over to the male nurse.

He was wearing a_ Dexter's Laboratory_ themed scrubs-something that was quiet rare. On any other day I would have laughed and made small talk with this young man but today was not that day.

We followed behind him as he made his way to a small room, pushed far back, away from the rest of the office. I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat.

Everything seemed so surreal at this moment. As though I was watching all of this happen through a TV screen.

"The doctor will be in shortly, until then just try and relax." The man said giving us a sympathetic look. My guess is, he already knows about our situation.

I wonder if he ever saw this happen? Or how often he saw this?

"Thank you." Jaylnn said kindly. We entered the room, my eyes darting around, taking in the surroundings.

There wasn't much of a difference between this room and the other rooms. Other than the pretense of our visit.

A dull pain began in my chest, the anxiety filling me.

Stay strong for them.

"Dada?" Sophia whispered.

Her little arms were crossed, not in an angry way but in a scared way. Her lip jutted out as she looked between Jaylnn and me.

"Honey, it's okay." My wife said, in a hopeless effort to comfort her.

A minute ago my daughter seemed stronger then I could ever imagine. But now she's falling apart in front of me. I don't really know what you can expect a 2 year old to do. Either she won't understand-which is mostly the case here but on the other hand, you can see the fear in her eyes. Maybe this whole situation is just scaring her. She can barely talk, only a few sentences at the most, so she wouldn't know how to express how she feels.

All I can do is put her little mind at ease and try to keep her as calm as possible. Me being scared could be making things worse.

I went down to Sophia's level and picked her up. She grabbed onto my collar, pulling her body towards mine. She then stuck her thumb in her mouth, her body seeming to relax.

I noticed Jaylnn had already taken a seat as she watched us. Her tension and fear was written all over her. She patted the chair next to her. I carefully sat down hoping to not disturb Sophia.

"It's going to be okay." Jaylnn whispered before placing a hand on my leg. My eyes moved towards her.

"Why do you have to keep saying this?" I questioned, averting my gaze. My mind began to race through the past few weeks, as things began to pick up. The bladder infections, the fevers, the small symptoms that led to a startling possibility.

"You say it's going to be okay, but how can we be certain? I'm not trying to be a fatalist-you know that's not me-"

The door opened, cutting me off, as Sophia's doctor, Dr. Kappax, entered the room. Her shoe's clicked against the ground as she made her way in, closing the door behind her. I studied her closely as she leaned against the exam table, placing Sophia's chart beside her.

"So, how are things?" Dr. Kappax asked, glancing between both Jaylnn and I.

"Good I suppose." Jaylnn replied.

"Good, Good." She muttered, looking down to the floor, before returning her gaze towards us.

"Well I think you know why you're here; For the results. And-Well a good friend of mine was fortunate enough to be assigned to her. He reviewed her CAT scan and found a tumor." A sharp pang ran through my chest. I held onto Sophia a little tighter as Jaylnn moved more towards me, squeezing my leg a little.

"The tumor was near the spot I had originally expected it to be; The adrenal gland. The adrenal gland sits on top of the kidney. This is something that we need to take seriously."

"Is it cancerous?" Jaylnn asked the previously unspoken question all of us feared.

" There is a possibility of it being cancerous, but I'm suspecting she may have Ganglioneuroblastoma due to the area in which the tumor is growing. It has a possibility of being benign, which it is in most cases, yet it can also be malignant. But there is still a strong possibility she could have Neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is a malignant tumor that grows from nerve tissue. Which, as well, can grow on the adrenal gland. Although, if it is Neuroblastoma, it will be cancerous. Sadly, this cannot be determined through an x-ray, but through a biopsy, which would require surgery as soon as possible.." Dr. Kaddax trailed off at the end looking down at her feet.

I opened my mouth slightly, trying to breath. It felt like I had been punched in the throat and chest at the same time. My daughter stirred gently in my arms completely unaware of the challenges she was about to face.

"I was able to schedule Sophia for an appointment at 8am on Monday with a Children's Oncology Clinic. They specialize in her situation. She is in good hands. And please do _not_ be late, they will be running some more tests on her. She will most likely be admitted to the hospital the same day and there will be a talk about when to bring her into surgery. So I would take this weekend to get everything sorted out, keep a bag packed. Just be prepared for Monday." I held Sophia closer to me as I rested my chin on her soft little head. Jaylnn moved her hand to my back rubbing it, trying to soothe me.

"How long will she be in the hospital?" Jaylnn spoke up, staring intently at Dr. Kappax. Dr. Kappax bit her lip while shaking her lip.

"Sadly, I can't say and neither can the staff at the oncology clinic. All of your questions about 'what happens next' can only be answered after her surgery and test have been done. I'm very sorry about this. It's going to be tough, but try not to get ahead of yourselves and worry too much. Just take it one day at a time; That's all you can really do."

We all sat there, silent. There was an uneasy feeling that settled in the room. No one said anything, but what was there to say anyway? 'Thanks for telling us our daughter has cancer and may die, see you next time doc?'

"How is she supposed to handle this?" I whispered giving her head a small kiss. "She's only 2. She's going to be so scared. She's not going to understand anything." Dr. Kappax gave me a sympathetic look as she stood up straight, grabbing Sophia's chart off the exam table. She rubbed a little bit of Sophia's back as she looked me in the eyes.

"Mr. MacFarlane, this is going to be hard on all of you, but I promise everything will be okay. As long as she has the both of you, things will be _okay_. No matter what happens." I held onto her words hoping that they were true. At this point, I don't know if I can be strong for her.

**_xxx_**

**Jaylnn's POV**

"So what did the doctor say?" Ron asked as I sat on the couch, holding onto a soft pillow. It had been a few hours since the three of us had made it back from the doctors. Seth decided to take a nap with Sophia. He offered me to join but, I can't sleep with all these thoughts running through me head.

Ron had called us at least 4 or 5 times, which was to be expected. I wasn't going to sugar coat the truth for Ron. Being blunt and direct is the only way you can go about telling someone these types of things.

"It may be malignant. They don't know. She's going to an oncology clinic on Monday." I stuffed my face into one of the couch pillows, listening to my father in law. He sighed before replying.

"What's next?"

"Surgery."

"How's Seth handling the news?"

"Alright, I guess. He's really torn up-has been for the past week. It worries me." There was a pause on the other end of the line, before Ron spoke up.

"How are you doing?"I shrugged my shoulders, as if he were really in front of me. I had so many feelings that I couldn't express. They were trapped inside me, feeding off my fear.

But I couldn't expect myself to tell anyone the truth. I have to stay strong for Sophia and Seth. Without me out this house will crumble to pieces.

Seth's already in a fragile state. He's checked out most of the time, just staring out into space. It takes so much to get him out of that. And if he knew I was breaking don't know how he'd react.

"Fine. I'm still in shock-But I know everything will be okay." Ron sighed, once again, before pressing on further about my well being.

"Jay, just try not to put so much pressure on yourself. This is going to be very hard. Seth is going to spiral down as the days go on. He didn't take the news of Perry's cancer too well, but he was younger than. I-" Ron took a deep breath, falling silent on the other end.

"And now his daughter-his baby girl-nearly the spitting image of his mom, is sick." He choked up, as he let out a few small cries.

I closed my eyes biting my lip, trying to find something I could say to comfort him. Something that could make everything okay.

But nothing is okay right now, so why should I lie to him or anyone? Including myself.

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